Subject: I Gave It Up, Now He Won’t Leave

Hello Morning Crew, I‘m 39 years old and married to an older man who has a college age son from a previous marriage.  To make a long, sorted, story short my stepson’s best friend has been after me for about a year.  Every opportunity he could he would try me.  I even brought this subject up to my husband that I didn’t like having him around the house.  Well my husband and I were going through some rough times and he cheated on me.  Up until this time I had never even thought of cheating on him.  What can I say, my sons friend caught me at my most vulnerable moment and yes, I did it.  I slept with him.  That was several months ago.  The only thing that made me feel better about the situation is that he was supposed to graduate from the college where my husband coaches at and go to another school outside the city. But he has decided to stay.  He’s at our home more often than ever.  He’s got some kind of fatal attraction thing going on.  The latest episode was at a family bbq.  He touched me in an inappropriate area.  I looked up and my husband was looking right at us.  My husband is crazy jealous.  So for him not to have said anything scares me and I feel like he’s cooking something up.  The boy follows us to church and everything.  I looked behind me last Sunday and there he was waving and smiling at me.  I really don’t know what to do other than pack my bags and get out while I can.  I know he’s telling people too. Because my stepson who used to adore me, barely speaks to me and the boy’s girlfriend told somebody that I was a B****.  Please Help!

RSSComments (9)

Leave a Reply | Trackback URL

  1. Ruler1iam says:

    You sound 19 instead of 39. Your husband cheated on you but your only concern is what to do about this young guy your stepson age that you slept with. Sounds like you married for money and security rather than love. You are too old to get caught up like this

  2. walt says:

    Your 39 and don’t know what to do????? Woman please stop wasting our time, read over your crazy letter and your find the answer there.

  3. Monty says:

    Did l hear Shirley say “she understood” how you slept with your “step son’s friend” — disagree totally!!! I don’t understand and will never understand a grown ass woman is at a vulnerable state and decides to spread her legs to family friends, strangers, whoever–just disgusting. When I am vulnerable or have times of weakness, I take a walk, read a book, call a friend, but I would never open my legs to a strange man-child; must less someone in the family by blood or not. You may call a choice a mistake, but it is not. You made a choice to spread your legs, that has now resulted in serious consequences.

  4. Fay R says:

    Well….you have really gotten yourself in a mess girlfriend, me personally I wouldn’t let no one have this power over me, its better to just come clean and tell everybody involved and that this will have an effect on, hey you choose the behavior you chose the consequence, because this lil dude don’t know how to handle what has happened to him, end it all…….confess, apologize and move on with your life….that’s what your husband get, ask him how it feel? You got your groove back Stella!!!! LOL

  5. Dr. Danny T Barnes says:

    The husband watched the BBQ interaction and saw that there was no unusual reaction from you. He is plotting. If the wife want the husband to intercede, the wife needs to confess.

    Dr. Barnes

  6. Like steve said two wrongs don’t make a right…you should have left before it got this far but you chose to trick yourself out to a kid…girl bye!! i have no sympathy for you boo

  7. Shayla says:

    This is not a joke I am experiencing the same case of sprung I just ended up with a child behind my foolishness. So now I gave him everything he wanted and I’m paying for it every day. He still wants me more than ever and I can’t seem to get away. He is willing to still be second in my life as long as I never leave him alone. Oh yeah I’m 32 and he is 24.

  8. Balance says:

    This letter is an example of the double standards of life between men who cheat and women who cheat. When a man cheats with a younger woman, he is THE MAN! When a woman cheats, she is THE BITCH! She did it to get back at him for hurting her. She was wrong for that, but Shirley was right to hold the man accountable, as well. He is not an innocent victim in all of this. He is the cause of this. This is a tough learned lesson, but like with everything else in life, this too will pass. It will be uncomfortable and embarrassing for a while, but it will pass. She needs to apologize to her husband for cheating and hopefully he has done or will do the same. Next, she needs to set clear boundaries with the young man who is acting stalkerish. To the girlfriend or anyone else bold enough to call her out of her name, make it known that type of disrespect will not be tolerated and tha she needs to redirect her misdirected anger to her boyfriend. As for the step-son, he is hurt and embarrasssed. Apologize if you haven’t already and then give him space and time. He is the innocent casualty in all of this. We often don’t realize the far reaching consequences of our actions until it’s too late. Hindsight is 20/20. This too shall pass. Lesson learned.

  9. vana says:

    i like to call this the cougar’s curse. An older woman sleeps with a younger man with no relationship to speak of. Young man follows older woman around after being sprung. He is now spoiled for younger inexperienced women. And she has a dilemma on her hands. True, her husband should not have cheated and she should not have had revenge sex. It never works out for the female in this case. That young man’s life is in danger. The jealous cheating husband is plotting something.

Leave a Reply