Subject: Love starved cougar

Dear Steve and Shirley, I am a very attractive 42 year old woman who is in love with my 34 year old husband. We’ve been married 8 years, together for 10. Our only issue is that he is always busy with his multiple money-making endeavors and his fervent desire to make money. When I had our daughter, he asked me to stay home with her while he worked full time and I agreed. Now his mind is always going and when he gets home from work. He’s either on conference calls, having meetings, or he’s on the computer looking up investments. I appreciate his ability to provide for our family, but he is wiped out at the end of the day and he’s usually ready for bed by 8pm. On a scale of 1 to 10, my love tank is a 10… his is maybe a 4. Mine is constantly on fumes and I need it at least four times a week. He is fine with it only twice a week and it’s driving me crazy. I’m attracted to him and I love him, but he’s too young to be so tired! And whenever we do it, it lasts only 5 minutes. He says it’s too good and he is done way too quick. I’ve asked if he was gay or had a side piece. I should be running from him, but he’s too tired to chase this cougar. I told him he starves me. Yes, I am in great health, not overweight, I always smell good and my hair is always done. I take pride in how I carry myself because it is a reflection on him. What should I do?

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  1. I don't hand hold says:

    The issue isn’t how you look. He has his hands in too many things. He told you point blank, he’s busy. People like the benefits that hard work brings, but they don’t like the hours involved. You should be glad you get it twice a week. You were together 2 years, before you got married. You probably ignored this. You were happy he had money and you guys enjoyed yourself. Now it’s been 10 years and you want a change. This was your choice.

  2. Fay R says:

    OMG….I feel for you…..So I guess getting a younger guy don’t work all the time, what’s a sista to do…..LOL

  3. m says:

    She’s reached her peak. Women in their 40’s need sex as a young man would in his 20’s

  4. Mssumtimee says:

    I think she’s just trying trying to wear him out to make sure he’s to tired wonder while he’s doing his many jobs. I hope she have this man dinner ready when he gets home. If she stop acting so horny and give him a chance to chase she may get it more.

  5. ibraven says:

    I feel since he is soooo busy and she is at home burning in lust. I believe she should just get outside interest. She worked until she had a child and by mutual agreement she decided to be a full time mom. Its time to get back in the workforce. Take on a schedule where she can still take care of her child and literally start to get a life. I believe if she starts to get outside interest, he may view her as a equal partner. I don’t believe he values her or her feelings.

  6. Sit your husband down and explain to him how sexually starved you’ve been feeling, and how miserable it’s making you. Tell him to make an appointment with a urologist and go with him. There is something out there that can help him. I’ve heard plenty of success stories, and it started with a visit to a urologist. Tell him that you are trying to be a loving and supportive wife, but you have been unhappy with your sex life with him. Tell him that this is very important to you, and he needs to see a urologist. They deal with premature ejaculation issues, erectile dysfunction issues, lack of appetite issues (he could be suffering from a big drop in his testosterone levels) what ever his problem is a urologist can hook him up. Tell him he needs to be more proactive in fulfilling your sexual needs. Set aside some extra time for you during the week because you need him to. And if he doesn’t do or try to do anything to help your situation, step out on him with another married man who is going through the same thing your going through. Less p

  7. Trumps Girlfriend says:

    The funny part about this is that I am in this situation to but we are both 34. He works two jobs to provide the most important necessities and I am over Corporate America so I started editing and making my degrees work for me. I am super thankful that he was able to see a man in order to be a man, but his mind is ALWAYS preoccupied. I am in my sexual prime and he is basically done at 34 so it seems. What can I do to liven our sex life back up and to slow down his brain? Trust me I have tried to just take it but that doesn’t turn out well because his third leg never stays standing. Please help.

  8. deenie says:

    Yes, women reach their sexual peaks in their 40’s. If her needs are not being met in the bedroom, but everything is good, why doesn’t she just “take matters into her own hands”? There’s nothing wrong or dirty about it.

  9. kaylee47 says:

    Girl you said the man was tired. His mind is on his money and his money is on his mind. This letter could read differently. Why you had to go to the gay thang! not like your not getting any and when he is the phone he is talking business. Is he going fishing and not bring home fish. Sound like you need a life outside the home, not looking for Mr Right now but get a job to balance off all that energy you have.

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