Subject: No stimulation leads to frustration

Hello Steve and Shirley, I’ve been married for 15 years and we have 2 children. My handsome husband is a good man and he treats me very good. My problem is that for the past 7 years, he has had issues with sexual arousal. The blue pills worked at first, but then they stopped working. He has been seeing a specialist and we’ve changed our diet. I’m being extremely patient but sex once or twice a year is very frustrating. He doesn’t like to discuss it and I think he gets embarrassed and he may feel as if he’s less than a man because of this problem. I told him that I need sexual stimulation, but he won’t even consider pleasing me in other ways. I have been faithful to him… I have been pleasuring myself a lot lately. I’m only 48 years old and I am not ready to stop having sex. I’m a beautiful professional woman and men flirt with me all the time. Other than the sexual part of our lives, my husband and I are good together. But now I feel like he’s being selfish and I get irritated with him. Can you give me some words of wisdom, please?

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  1. Fay R says:

    OMG……He has become comfortable with the situation, I can understand how would feel less of a man, but you better than me (kudos) lol,….but, I wouldn’t advise you to step out, because one night of pleasure could cause you a lifetime of pain, just keep trying, and its not what you say its how you say it, so try a softer approach, a romantic approach, take his hand and put it somewhere on your body : ) !!! GOOD LUCK….I feel for you because we need it too !!!!

  2. I DON'T HAND HOLD says:

    For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. For richer or for poorer. Forsaking ALL others and keeping only unto you! UNTIL DEATH DO WE PART! Those are the words I have for you!

  3. DeVonie says:

    Steve, you funny as hell! Two pills? Add a disclaimer so that some idiot doesn’t go take five blue pills and try to come back and sue you.

  4. Ray says:

    First if he is not taking the 100 mg dose I highly recommend it. Also it is not recommended to take more then 100mg at a time. Most important it has to be taken on an empty stomach. Trust me I no.

  5. Gwen Alston says:

    Hey those blue little pills are not going to work if you don’t take them on the regular and plus you have to set them up for y’all to have some intimacy it just don’t work if you just pop up like the M&M get it girl.

  6. Audrey says:

    I totally empathize with this lady as I am going through the same thing. Sometimes I get so frustrated; at this point I am ready to get me a maintenance man.

  7. Terrilyon James says:

    His testosterone level is low and will require injections to get his level back up in probability. My husband and I went through the same thing. I blamed myself because he started rejecting me. After years of frustration I threaten to leave he talked to the MD and additional test revealed a subnormal level. Problem corrected. He was embarrassed to tell me and his MD that he couldn’t perform. Have is levels checked

  8. Ike says:

    Yes, this is a Screwed up Situation for Her for the Last 7 year’s and He won’t Perform Oral( which is what She is referring to) or Using Sex Toy’s with Her. She is in Her Prime and Sex is Very Impor- ant at Her Age and She is getting ATTENTION from other’s and it’s Starting to Look & Feel GOOD to Her. She LovesHim dearly in ALL Ways but the INTIMACY is MISSING and that’s BIG. Long Story short She is about to Step Out on Him to get that FIX that He’s not WILLING to Itch. The Blue Pills will only work for So Long because they are not Natural and the body will reject them in awhile. Like Steve said, He needs to go down to the Local China Town and see one of those Older Wise Men or even a Women, if not One around find an Eastern Indian Area because those Two Cultures know a lot about a lot of Thing’s and the One that they BEST is SEX and MAKING Babies and they have made a lot of them in the History of our World, about 37% or more of the population lives in those Two Countries alone.Also a Much Better Diet and a More Active Life Style just might do the Body some GOOD. He better do something soon or will be a Jim, James, Paul and Tyrone Pleasing the Wifey or worse a Jamie, Jameshia, Paulette and Tyreona Pleasing his Queen.

  9. TSA says:

    I understand your frustration as I too am in this same position. The pill no longer works for my husband either. I choose to remain faithful, but that does not make the thoughts of intimacy disappear. Counseling helps, but it’s not a cure. He has to work with you to figure out other ways to satisfy your needs, otherwise your frustration will impact other aspects of your marriage. He probably thinks you won’t stray, but tell him your struggles to stay faithful because unlike him, your body still craves intimacy & tell him how he needs to work with you to satisfy your needs.

  10. Elffie says:

    This is a medical issue. The condition won’t change overnight, a couple of weeks, or even a few months. It takes time, and hopefully, he remains healthy.

    You don’t state your husband’s age, nor have you mentioned any other medical conditions/medications that could potentially be effecting him. Another consideration is the type of physical exertion related to work, or any other physical activity the two of you are involved. Even the time of day can have an effect on his arousal.

    You want words of wisdom…DON’T CHEAT ON YOUR HUSBAND!!! Infidelity can ruin a marriage and family. If you know your husband loves you, then why do you care that other men flirt with you all the time. Okay, you’ve got your ego boost, now move on.


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