Subject: Was I wrong for what I did?

Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m 22 years old. I work and I’m in college. I wrote you because I have an issue that I need some advice on. I met this real nice boy and he is a working student like me. We’ve gone on dates and spent quality time together. He even drives to my job to come see me on my breaks. Well, I recently found out that he used to date my cousin. He told me it was nothing, but I asked my cousin about the relationship, just to be sure. My cousin told me the truth about how they were once in love and intimate and had even planned to have a baby together. Even though this all happened before I met him, I was disturbed by the news, so I went to his house and busted his back window out of his car. I was hurt because I had to hear the truth from someone other than him. The next day, I gave him the money to replace his back window and I apologized. I like him but, I’m confused. I reacted off emotion. Now I’m wondering if I was wrong for busting the window? Should I walk away or should I try to make it work with him? I need some answers.

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  1. Monty says:

    Yes you were absolutely wrong!! Destruction of another’s property is never the answer to anything. All you had to do was simply end the relationship. You need to get serious counseling, talk to a pastor, do something to get your young irrational self some guidance on handling disappointment. If you respond with this level of violence when you are deceived there is no telling what else you may do.

  2. I DON'T HAND HOLD says:

    This is stupid! You claim you heard the truth from your cousin. You don’t know that! YOU cousin may have been in love and he wasn’t. The idea of planned a baby by someone who’s not your husband shows a lack of critical thinking! Women who are delusional / or think they are in love often misinterpret the conversation. HOW long were they together? Saying, I want a girl and a boy is not planning, and it doesn’t mean this needs to happen now. Stay in school, focus on your studies. Once you’ve matured, maybe you’ll have the ability to discern what constitutes a good man. The rock through the window shows you are unhinged, not good. You cannot control your impulse. That’s a level of crazy, no reasonably sane person would deal with. It doesn’t sound like you have been dating long, and to behave like this. Not good! If I were this man you wouldn’t have the option to leave me, that would have been a done deal.

  3. JAZZ says:

    Hail yace you were wrong for destroying his property, and this shows that your level of emotional maturity may not be where it needs to be for you to handle a serious relationship. You’re 22 years old, take your time. Meanwhile, it’s up to him about trying to make it work, and if I were him I think that decision might already have been made.

  4. George says:

    yea you was wrong for busting his window, the window didn’t lie to you, and no you need to leave him alone because you crazy and your cousin probably is too, and that’s why it didn’t work with her to.

  5. Ruler1iam says:

    FOOL! This was something that happened in the past and you went out and busted his window? You are lucky he didn’t have you arrested. If he is smart he will drop you like a bad habit.

  6. Fay R says:

    LW Nooooo….. don’t mess with that , if you do you asking for trouble, YES, you were wrong for breaking out his window, but you can’t change what has happened , you paid for it and apologized so move on without him, then you don’t want a guy your cousin had anyway that’s Taboo…yuck !!!
    FYI…Don’t ever give a man something he could hold over you head, and trust me if you get into a relationship with him he will used that against you i.e… ..( ” I had you and your cousin).. see my point !

  7. Sylvia says:

    I don’t think the question should be if she should walk away or make it work rather he should be advised to run away from her and leave her alone. Her impulse was to break his window in his car because of what she learned from her cousin. Which she doesn’t know is the truth or not, but she lacks judgment and she very immature and she needs therapy and coping classes to learn how to positively deal with conflict.

  8. Kim says:

    Can you play bust the windows out your car by Jasmine Sullivan dedicated to the lady that bust the windows out of her boyfriend car?

  9. Buckley212 says:

    My advise for this young woman is to “grow the f up!”. You sound like a young dumb chicken head. Focus on yourself and not some “boy”. (Me rolling my eyes and shaking my head). You are lucky the “boy” did not have your butt arrested. Move on !!!!

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